Last weekend’s GNO part 2
this was the best scene ever… of all time
i love + miss the office
I’m such a weirdo when it comes to my long term memory. I either remember every single little detail from one day to not remembering a conversation I had with a friend.. I go either ways. Let’s just say, I have a better long term than short term memory. It’s a battle. I’ve talked about this before, previously on one of my old posts; but looking at my mindset now, compared to the way my mindset was before.. I’ve noticed it’s become quite a problem. Yes, having pretty good long term memory, has it’s advantages. I personally believe that my brain has more than enough space that I’ve created communities or tribes that help me remember a lot of stuff. Like memories, stories, old shit and ideas.. etc. That, and I think since I’m a frequent photo-taker, I give kudos to those pictures since they’ve actually helped contribute to my ever lasting memories. Of course, there are cons too. I think they stick out a lot. (More than I’ll ever admit out loud) I’ve noticed I’ve taken a lot of bullets from the past. But thanks to my 2014 bullet proof vest, I’ve saved myself more than I use to. I hate how I always look back at the past. Even the most unnecessary things. I mean, sometimes I’ll catch myself looking back and a fifteen minutes in, I’ll be like, “Stephanie, what the hell are you doing ? Why are you doing this again ?” Seriously though. What else is there to look at ? Why must I think about the time my ex told me to get ready for a fancy date, which lead him never making face and me sitting by the stairs falling asleep waiting at the door for him; to eventually finding out that he was at his boy’s house getting drunk….. or the time I pushed my best friend away because I got jealous of the other people she was hanging out with…. or the girl that stole my crush before I ever had the chance to tell him how I felt….. or the time I lied to my parents saying I was at Square One when really I was in Scarborough……. I mean :/. I even catch myself thinking about the people that aren’t even in my life anymore, and the next second, I find myself on their social network or page, just analyzing their life and how it is without me. Sometimes I feel like that kid who’s at recess, and is with their friends playing a game or doing something whatnot.. and from afar, there’s another group of friends who are crowded together in a set, laughing and talking. I just watch them then I go back to doing my regular thing. Except that group is my past and me playing games and etc with my friends is my current right now. I gotta stop doing that. I gotta stop looking back at what happened before and what isn’t there anymore. I also gotta stop feeling sorry for myself. I put a lot of guilt on myself for all the stuff that’s happened in the past. That mindset really stops me for a sec then I sit in a slump.. but weird enough as it is, it’s something I’ve gotten used to. I don’t wanna keep doing this to myself, I don’t wanna spend my time remembering all the things that happened that affected my life in ways that I can still see those bruises. I just wanna be better. I wanna be a better Stephanie. I can’t keep looking back when my eyes are in the front of my friggin face.
*in class* why do we need to know this
*in drivers ed* why do we need to know this
*reading prices at stores* why do we need to need to know this
*kim kardashian article on yahoo home page* why do we need to know this
*looking at electoral ballot* why do we need to know this
*reads protein powder nutritional information* its imperative to know how many scoops of powder I must obtain for maximum output of body mass in as little time as possible
A windows phone could literally predict the future and I would still want an iPhone
I don’t owe people anything, and I don’t have to talk to them any more than I feel I need to.
When Beyoncé growled barbarian and Nicki continued going in I felt my soul shake I felt the devil leave my body I am cleansed of that one time I listened to Fancy. Thank you Beyoncé. Thank you Nicki Minaj. You healed me
And I understand. I understand why people hold hands: I’d always thought it was about possessiveness, saying ‘This is mine’. But it’s about maintaining contact. It is about speaking without words. It is about I want you with me and don’t go.
Last night I went out with my girls and had our first annual GNO in sooo long ! It was superb. I really needed this cause I’ve been pretty occupied with school, working and Adrian.. but since Adrian’s been gone for 2 months, I’ve been doing my own thing. Plus all my girls who are taken all decided we needed to do this ! It’s been so long overdue. The night started when I left Mississauga with Guarin and we subway’d together downtown to Athina & Sylvia’s place. We were gonna get ready there. We also met new friends too ! They were cool :). After all the girls arrived, we went straight to Cube nightclub and from there, it was so much fun ! The first part, we were surrounded by crappy music, but it got better when we went to the rooftop where there was better music. We then walked back to Athina/Sylvia’s place and just chilled till 3AM. I can’t wait till we all get together next time. Next time, we’re getting a booth and adding more girlfriends to the mix ! :D I’ll add pictures soon !